I am the 99%

Email written today in response to “I don’t have your rent check yet. What is happening?” email.

Dear Landlady,

I was hoping I would have rent by now like I said I would. I should have told you why I don’t have it yet, but I kept hoping I would just get my income tax refund and pay you.

Here’s what’s happening. It is going to sound like a long string of excuses, which it is, but I don’t know how else to explain but to tell you the circumstances.

I haven’t paid rent because I don’t have any money. I’m waiting on my income tax refund, which I e-filed Jan 27. I got a notice about a “Fiscal Cliff Delay,” and every day I check the “Where Is My Refund” website, and it’s still in the processing phase for the Federal Refund. I worked a lot all year before September and had a lot withheld on purpose. I tried to call the IRS yesterday but it was President’s Day so I’m calling them now to find out what the hold up is. It usually comes between 7-14 days, and I really thought I’d get the direct deposit before Mardi Gras.

I’m only teaching one class at School 1 [redacted] this current term but the new term starts soon and I should have two courses. School 2 [Redacted] didn’t give me any courses during the Fall term because I was put on probation for not grading papers fast enough during Hurricane Isaac (they don’t care that I didn’t have proper power or internet). School 2 [Redacted] gave me a course assignment that will start soon if students enroll in the course (they usually do).

I’ve been trying to sell just about anything I have that’s valuable on E-bay but nobody is buying anything. I’ve been applying for every online teaching job I can find and other jobs that I am qualified for. I tried to sell crafts/art I made during Mardi Gras but didn’t make any money. I thought a lawyer was going to pay me to design a website for him, but he wants me to do it for free, so I won’t do it. It’s like everything I try to do falls apart right in front of me. I was the plaintiff in the ACLU Clean Zone First Amendment lawsuit (it was in the paper) and wrote all these articles hoping a publication would pay me to write about all the interviews I conducted with local artists, but nobody did.

My boyfriend has his own rent to pay, or he would have paid mine. He wanted to but he didn’t have the money either. 

I was going to ask my parents to loan me money until my refund came, but my paternal grandmother died suddenly on January 30th. She was in a nursing home in Florida and my family had the funeral in Connecticut. I didn’t go. They ended up having to wait through that whole blizzard to bury her, and my mother, who is mentally ill, had some kind of breakdown, and I didn’t want to call my father and ask him to lend me money because he had to spend a lot of money on the funeral and I’m afraid of my mother, who’s pretty much just being really nasty and irrational and threatens everyone in the family and refuses to go to her doctor.

I am going to call the IRS right now and see what they say, and then I’m going to call my father and ask him if he has money to lend me until my IRS refund comes. I will let you know what happens after that (if my dad can lend me money or if the IRS says anything remotely useful).

I was making decent money up until the end of September and I was stupid and used it on activist stuff thinking I’d get my tax return or activists I donated to would reciprocate when they had money, but it seems like all anybody spends their money on in this city is alcohol. I’ve been sober for over 5 years and I really worry about working in a bar. I don’t know if I ever told you that I’ve been in AA since 2006 (my final sobriety date is Aug 11 2007). I haven’t spent money on anything but dog food and my internet since I need it for work. I should probably go apply for food stamps or something. I have $23 dollars in the bank and get paid on Friday Feb 22 (not enough to cover rent) but I have to pay Entergy $180 by the 25th. Icould pay you some of rent on Friday if my dad says he can’t lend money to his 37 year old daughter who didn’t go to his mother’s funeral because she was afraid of her own mother.

I keep thinking the tax refund will come and then the new semester will start and I’ll have more course assignments but I’m just sitting here thinking I deserve to be homeless for not having a clue how to come up with rent.

I will write back to you after I talk to the IRS and my dad.

I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this and didn’t have rent like I thought I would.

I understand if you’re mad and would rather have a tenant who can act like a responsible adult and pay rent or if you want to call me. I have to go meet with the person organizing the Homeless Street Newspaper from 1-2:30. I am seriously thinking about selling Homeless newspapers on street corners for a few days and maybe I’ll come across a restaurant that doesn’t serve tons of alcohol that is hiring. 

I’m sorry this is so long, but this is really what’s happening.

 

 I don’t know what to do.